Dreams about old boyfriends?! I've got a confession to make...

CONFESSION: I still dream about other men… 

… and I’ll bet you do, too. EVEN IF you’re happily paired with your partner. 

The more I talk with other women about their dream lives - the subconscious processing we do while we sleep - the more intrigued I am by what we dream of, how we dream, and what’s really happening when particular people and events show up there.

For some of my friends it’s rather disturbing to feel so emotionally roused, charged, or intrigued by, say, an old boyfriend in a dream. The thing is, I’m no stranger myself to reoccurring dreams involving people from my past… particularly of the boyfriend variety. 

I can tell you it’s beyond annoying at times because I’m happily married and my high school boyfriends aren’t people I still have feelings for or are even present in my life now (besides the occasional Facebook interaction or brief passing in my hometown).

So, what gives?

Why do we dream about people from our past?

Why, even when happily partnered with someone for YEARS, do we still have vivid recollections of them that evoke such an emotional turmoil in us at times? 

I wrestled over and over again trying to figure it out - as there was ONE particular high school boyfriend who showed up frequently and others who I rarely, if EVER dreamed about. 

Here’s what I learned...

It’s not them, it’s me. It’s not them, it’s you.

Just like any sappy breakup story, right? It’s really NOT ABOUT THAT PERSON… it’s about MEEEEE - and it’s about YOU. We’re the ones affected, we’re the ones holding on to something (even if it’s not undying love) and there’s a darn good reason for it.

The reason we dream about people from our past and remember it in our waking hours is because there’s something we need to PAY ATTENTION TO.

Our subconscious is essentially filling away our emotional experiences during sleep. Sorting the laundry. Washing the laundry, folding the laundry… so you can get up in the morning and clothe yourself with clean, fresh clothing. 

“Night is when we are closer to ourselves, closer to essential ideas and feelings that do not register so much during the daylight hours.” -Clarissa Pinkola Estés: Women Who Run With the Wolves (More on this book HERE.)

It’s not an exaggeration in my experience that our dream life is ESSENTIAL to our emotional and spiritual health and it’s why I do meditative power-napping or a bit of imaginative play and pretend in a super relaxed state that usually leads to sleeping a bit! I find that when I allow my deeper psyche to take over, to make sense of the world through it’s stories. To sort, to order, to process… I’m much clearer in my conscious mind and my subconscious is at the ready to take *new* direction from my conscious mind. 

Just like in life, if you let the PILES and PILES of laundry accumulate… it’s super overwhelming to even exist in your home. You’ll put off the project… procrastinating until you FINALLY decide to do something about it. It’s a cycle that saps your energy and keeps you stuck in survival mode.

All right… so you get the importance of dreaming. The sorting. The subconscious laundry - but still… the WHY remains.

Why THAT guy? Why THAT girl? Why THAT fling?

And why does that person appear in your dream JUST AS they were when your paths crossed THEN and not as they are now (older, taller, more fit, less fit, whatever)?

They come as messengers, and actually show up as a part of who you are. In a sense, they’re metaphors for something deeper than your conscious mind can otherwise understand. You have no other image for that part of yourself, no other words that can help you stir up that particular feeling or experience in order to integrate and process that part of who you are.

Let’s dig in to a specific story so you can see how this plays out.

The boyfriend who I regularly dreamed about was someone who I dated for maaaaybe a month in my Sophomore year of high school. We had also “gone out” for a week in 8th grade, and in 6th grade he’d tried to ask me to a dance… so as silly as it sounds now, there was an emotional history for me especially around some of the most awkward years of my life. During the period of us dating he regularly flaked out on calling me and would go hang out with friends at the beach and not bother to invite me. Hence it not lasting long. We really didn’t have much personal chemistry other than the fact that I found him very physically attractive at the time. I haven’t a clue how he really felt about me - it’s entirely possible he dated me because of pressure from his sister.

Compare this to another boyfriend who I dated for a couple of years early on in high school. I was 14, he was 18. I was flattered by his care and attention and he spoiled me with gifts, affirmations, and a sense of belonging that a young and internally insecure me was happy to accept. Objectively and consciously, I would think that THIS would be the boyfriend I would dream about… the one with the dramatic breakup and unresolved hurts and confusion I felt from our relationship. But, it wasn’t. To date I’ve had one… maybe two dreams about this person. 

You can see how the “common sense” approach to dream life just doesn’t work!

So, I quit asking myself questions like “Why am I dreaming about this boyfriend? I don’t still have feelings for him, right?! Good grief, why can’t I stop dreaming about this person?"

And I started asking questions like “How do I feel about this dream? How did I feel in the scenario in the dream? What was it like to feel those emotions? What residual emotions do I have from the dream? What is it that made me uncomfortable about this dream? Why do I feel guilt or shame about this dream?"

Feelings would come up that surprised me… Sometimes I felt desired and wanted… Other times I felt ignored and unimportant… Still in other dreams I played the role of temptress - always keeping myself just out of his reach, seemingly just for the sake of playing the game.

When I dug even deeper, asking “What did this person mean to me? Why was I with him at that time? What part of me did he give me permission to be? What did he arouse in me that no one else had? In what ways did I feel empowered in our relationship? In what ways did I feel disappointed in our relationship?"

THAT is when I really struck gold. I was no longer judging my inner world and shaming myself for having silly dreams about someone who wasn’t a part of my life, I was open to learning and letting myself process feelings that were clearly very important to my intuitive psyche.

I realized then that I hadn’t chosen a single other boyfriend *purely* for physical attraction… I had given myself permission to be shallow for once. I had never dated someone who was popular and athletic before… I learned that I wasn’t as enthralled by those qualities as I thought. I felt empowered in our relationship to be… carnal… even though all we did was kiss probably twice the whole month. I felt disappointed that the initial attraction wasn’t supported by any deeper connection. We had little in common, and it just was what it was.

Again - this isn't a judgement on HIM... this about what this represents to ME.

The “carnal” nature of this blip in my relationship radar… was liberating… but also uncomfortable because my hopes for something “more” were crushed and my shame for being with someone for such “shallow” reasons held strong. 

I came away from the experience with beliefs that my sexual nature had been proven yet again to be somehow “wrong."

What I found was that these dreams came up whenever I was repressing this part of me… the part of me with raging desire for my life. Not just sexual libido (which certainly plays a role) but the kind of libido that keeps you going, driven, inspired, and taking action in all areas. Each dream scenario would play out how I was feeling about my own libido at the time… Was it chasing me? Was I chasing it? Was it ignoring me? Was I ignoring it? Was it a fight, a struggle, a glimpse and nothing more?

Once I started giving gratitude for the way this person showed up in my dreams and opening to the deeper representation in my subconscious I found that the dreams simply occurred less and less over time. I started listening and taking action to shift and open this part of who I was more fully. Without the shame, restrictions, and feelings that I was “shallow” I found myself more free in my waking life and less in need of this exploration and sorting in my dream life.

On the rare occasion that I have a dream about someone from my past these days, I’m able to revisit the questions I shared above. I always look at the EMOTION and FEELING of it above all else. 

Our subconscious communicates in image and story - so we must stop looking at these communications as literal representations of something to be FIXED and start with a heart of gratitude for the amazing, wise guidance that comes from within.

What’s YOUR most prevalent reoccurring dream? Use these questions as appropriate to dig in to your own experience and see what you find within.

❤️ Steena

P.S. I shared a video titled "THREE questions you MUST ask to get to the bottom of what your old boyfriend dreams mean for you NOW" on this topic as well over in my (FREE) community Magical U(terus). You won't want to miss the juicy conversation! Join us here: www.magicaluterus.com

 

 

 

 

How To Get Moving in Massive INSPIRED Action (Even if you're totally blocked and can't hear your true inner voice)

What if you could fully realize that you have to drop the act and FULLY OWN the fact that you are intuitive, psychic even, and KNOW the answers to your deepest questions and cravings? 

Do you want to get deep intuitive answers and stop hiding your gifts out of fear of judgement?

Are you ready to stop wasting time and money on solutions that don't stick?

Wouldn't it be awesome if you could overcome stuck inertia and get moving again?

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Hi, my name is Steena Marie, and those are questions I used to ask myself as well.

Just imagine if you had that ability with your own intuition, what would you do? How would that instantly change your life and business for the better?

Unfortunately...

... developing and trusting your intuition isn't as easy as erasing your subconscious mind so you have a blank slate to work with and then reprogramming it.

We think we have to find a coach and try their easy 5 step solution to success. But even if we do exactly what someone else tells us to, it takes weeks for us to know exactly what INSPIRED action to take next.

Where's step 6? Why haven't I gotten the results I wanted? Why do I feel so lost even though I followed instructions! Gah!!!

I get it!

While you might try to use others to affirm and direct your path to speed up your process, you can quickly get bogged down when there's not always someone to give you the answers you need or to clear the blocks in your way.

Talk about "intuition overload" . . .

If you've ever felt that frustration with your intuition, I can totally relate!

Just like you...

I struggled with developing and owning my intuition - until I found the secret.

I had this moment of epiphany where I realized I'd been doing this all my life. I KNEW things I shouldn't know! I HAD the answers within me. I ALREADY possessed the gifts I needed, I just had to CLEAR the way to them!

I was able to realize that I had to drop the act and FULLY OWN the fact that I was intuitive, psychic even, all the while not skipping a beat to also own the fact that I'm a Jesus-loving Christian. Wowza! That was a huge one.

I started telling my friends, family members, and fellow entrepreneurs about those results; what happened next shocked me.

Some people were BEGGING me to show them how they could build epic confidence in their own inner voice so they could stop desperately searching for the next coach, course, or opt-in with the golden ticket . . . and have their OWN answers.

Others were really skeptical that it was even possible . . .

So I gave them a challenge . . . the SAME challenge that I'm going to give to you right now.

Choose.

Decide that it’s time for YOU to trust YOURSELF, and I guarantee that you'll be taking THE next step towards epic confidence in your inner voice . . . 

Here's what I want to do for you: I'm so sure this will completely change your life that I'm going to let you in on how I cleared the seven MASSIVE blocks that were in the way of me tuning in to my own intuition… and tell you what I shifted that energy IN TO, so that I could fully own my own inner wisdom, get UNSTUCK, and take inspired action daily.

So, now it's your turn to decide.

Are you ready to take the next step in totally OWNING who you are and what your gifts are? Are you ready to listen to the answers WITHIN YOU?

Say yes, and I'll show you how I cleared the 7 Major Blocks that were in my way so you can build epic confidence in your own intuition.

If there's even a chance that this could completely change your life . . .isn't it worth checking it out for FREE?

Just click here, and reserve your spot for this life-changing webinar. I promise it will be worth it.

Which one of these 7 MAJOR blocks is keeping you STUCK and not OFFERING your true gifts??

Are you guilty of pigeon-holing yourself and getting STUCK before you even START? I know that when I began my journey as an entrepreneur, I had tunnel vision in a niche that just wasn’t my joy and calling. 

I thought I could only help others with something that was “practical” and conventional. Being a mom, I knew I could help other women with their routines, their pregnancies, and their journey into motherhood. I kept things pretty vanilla… never venturing into such taboo areas as sexuality or spirituality.

I hid my own journey of personal development through birth (for fear that women who were NOT mothers wouldn't be able to relate). I kept myself from sharing my wild intuition and accurate vision of someone's business alignment. I didn't push ANY boundaries that felt uncomfortable. 

I chased systems, solutions, and education thinking that maybe... somewhere... someone would have that GOLDEN TICKET answer that would show me the way. In my head I heard...

Stick with logical.

Stick with rational.

Stick with normal. 

Pushing and pressing on, I tried to find clients who I could serve. I gave away free session after free session helping anyone I could. Every woman got great results and was able to decrease her stress and find grounded structure again… but I ended my days feeling less than inspired, and wondering if I was really cut out for any service based work. 

I started to feel burnt out. Exhausted. And a little bit lost. 

I was six months into my coaching business when I realized I was keeping myself from fully expressing my creativity, my intuition, and my gifts. Thankfully, I had insatiable curiosity on my side and I wondered… What would it be like to feel really free to serve others the way my heart was calling me to? 

What if I could use all of my gifts, instead of just the ones that wouldn’t rock the boat?

What if I could take my insatiable love of learning and the holistic healing tools, spiritual practices, energy work, and straight coaching… and let them all integrate in my work?

What if I could unleash my intuition and actually help others… and myself on a deeper level?

What if I could just… be me?

Have you been there… or are you there now? That crazy-making place of doubt, fear, and overwhelm…

When it seems like what other people think of you is tantamount to your success?

Where you toss and turn at night because you feel so stuck, so foggy, and downright frustrated that you’re holding back this amazing part of who you are?

That ache that comes with silencing our own voices and keeping our story behind closed doors… is relentless.

But I also know that underneath all of that is a deeper part of you where you just KNOW with certainty that you have all of the answers you need...

That you’re divinely provided for...

That you’re here to love and serve and give and receive abundantly...

AND - that you simply CANNOT do that while denying that voice of wisdom within you, the glimpses of truth you see in your daydreams, the nudges and “coincidences” that happen around you.

There were SEVEN major blocks that kept me from fully owning and expressing my intuition. These kept ME just as unaware of the full power and potential of this gift as it did others. And that, my friend, is just plain sad!

My business brought me face to face with these blocks and I had to admit my own truth. I had to listen, finally. I don’t want YOU to struggle as long as I did - which, truly was YEARS before I started my business… so I’m sharing here WHAT those seven blocks were and WHY they have changed and shaped my work and how I show up in the world.

 

#1: My Thinking

Growing up, I was very academic. I loved learning, I loved reading, and I loved school.

I think we can all identify with the huge emphasis on book-smart education. We learn that this one particular type of intelligence is valuable, and what will get us into college and then into a great job.

The massive down side to our dependence on text book learning and over-testing ourselves is that we neglect to foster or even affirm at all the less “tangible” gifts. 

Intuition, psychic abilities, empathic gifts, and even a heart to serve aren’t a part of how we’re taught to operate in the world for success. Heck, we don’t even learn how to have a basically successful relationship in school!

After middle school I stopped reading books about magical lands. Far gone were the days of building an airplane out of cardboard and hoping I could fly to those very same far off places. I let go of memories of the little bags of gemstone rocks I always collected, and forgot about the “book of answers” I used to play with. Jeannie’s bottle got packed away with older toys, and slowly but surely everything seemed a little less enchanting and quite a lot more serious and grown up.

It wasn’t until I started to rekindle this flame within me and recognize the glimpses of my intuition and deep divine knowing in stories I remembered of my childhood and experiences I’d had as I grew older that were inexplicable on a logical level, that I realized there was something MORE.

Something more to me, and something more to what I had to give in the world.

This logic-dependence and left-brain overdrive was the first big block and hindrance to me fully owning and using my own intuition.

Where have you experienced this denial of your own intuition?

 

#2: Social Taboos

On the heels of the academia-wired-me came social taboos that said that things like spirituality and holistic healing were just… hogwash! I wasn’t surrounded by others exploring their identity or beliefs and so, I learned in secret.

I would literally turn books around on my bookshelf when company was coming, not like pages on Facebook (thinking they’d show up in someone else’s feed), and keep from sharing much of what I was working on with friends and family.

For lack of confidence in my own guidance, intuition, and wisdom, I defaulted to staying quiet on matters that were incredibly important to me, skirting topics I didn’t want to be judged for having opinions on, and I kept my gifts off limits unless I was in a private FB group that I knew was full of people who would accept me.

Holding back to keep the peace was not serving me, or the women who truly needed what I had to share.

How have you shut down your intuition in social situations because of a fear of judgement?

 

#3: Religion

Now, I don’t have a typical story on this one!

I didn’t grow up super religious. My family wasn’t especially conservative or spiritual. I was vaguely Christian, and we were good people who believed that God existed, so we would go to heaven. All I really knew about Jesus as a kid was what I had learned from felt boards and tiny tracts I received when I dressed up in my fancy dress to go to church with my best friend after a sleepover.

It wasn’t until I dated a guy in high school who came from a family who was Jehovah’s witness that I really dove in to my Christian faith.

Yeah, read that again.

His own beliefs and opinions made me question my own. Some things he said didn’t make sense or sit well with me personally… so I knew I had to seek my own truth and “figure out what I believed.” On a Friday afternoon we broke up. Things were tense with his family (who thought he should only “date to mate” and preferably not date anyone outside of the church) and I didn’t feel like I could fully love or understand all of who he was

That very next Sunday I decided to go to church to find the answers I was craving… and I never looked back.

When I bought my first Bible, I read, re-read, and memorized the “Love” passage from 1 Corinthians… and the verses right around there about spiritual gifts. I prayed and PRAYED for those things!

I wanted to EXPERIENCE God.

I wanted to see miracles, healing, prophecy, and whatever other magic God wanted to send my way.

I was ready.

So, when I found that I really did have a few of those spiritual gifts… but that they weren’t always accepted even in the church (mind spinning yet?)… I wasn’t sure what to do with them.

Again… I let them lay dormant. I didn’t pursue my own gifts. I kept them quiet.

As you can imagine, there’s so much more to tell here, but in short… I wrestled time and time again with what was “okay” by church status quo standards.

Was it okay to use muscle testing? What about pendulums? Are crystals some kind of weird magic? Is energy work false healing? What about these visions I have? Can I use oracle cards? What about moon circles? Are they okay? Acupuncture? Meridians? Yoga? Kundalini? Psychics?

Oh… good grief… the list seemed ENDLESS.

Then, something shifted. Not once, but several times.

I trusted and acted.

I trusted that anything false would fail and fade away. I asked God for answers, for guidance, for wisdom, and I was always answered. I tuned in to my own inner knowing and intuition and acted on it. I stopped worrying about what other people would think, let go of my ideas of the big hairy scary Church, and I started to just be the ME that I was created to be.

Recently, I’ve realized that religion is a sore spot of hurt, judgement, legalism, and restriction for so many. Christian or not.

Has there been a time for you in the past or recently where you felt you had to hide or stifle your intuition because it somehow went against your religious beliefs or because you were taught it was against God?

 

#4: “Past Lives"

I’m going to be totally real with you, this is where things get weird.

If you haven’t a CLUE what I’m talking about when I say “past lives” don’t worry. The first time someone explained them to me I was thrown for a loop.

I had posted in a Facebook group to ask if anyone had experienced a struggle with their religion (or fear of judgement from certain friends in a church) conflicting with their path as an intuitive or healer.

A sweet woman reached out to me and offered some intuitive guidance… suggesting that there may have been a “past life” issue around it. She was a psychic herself and she shared an entire story with me about what she saw.

All I can say is that it absolutely brought me to tears and was, present day, exactly what I felt and was going through at the time – just in a different time period. She explained that she saw me as this magical healer who was persecuted by the church for being different and having these gifts…

It was still a stretch for me to think I had been actually re-incarnated or lived another life, but I could understand that I somehow had inherited this trauma since I had several midwives in my lineage and historically midwives were killed for being “witches.

Still today, I don’t view “past lives” as a literal re-incarnation, but I have seen this old, stagnant energy being cleared totally open doors for myself and my clients and remove deep, visceral fear triggers that don’t have any logical experiential roots.

Do you find that you’re stuck or triggered around being intuitive, a healer, or otherwise magical in ways that don’t make sense to you?

 

#5: Doubt

Heaps. Of. Doubt.

And allllll of the wrong questions.

Mind-dizzying and intuition nauseating questions like… Am I right? What if I’m wrong? How do I know if that’s my intuition for REAL? Am I just imagining things? What’s the difference between imagination and intuition anyway? Could this just be my ego? Who am I to be intuitive or psychic? What makes me special enough to know anything out of the “ordinary?”

And no, I’m not over here reading your mind – it’s just the REALITY of exploring your intuition.

Yes, it gets better. No, I don’t think it ever 100% goes away.

For me, it was run of the mill uncertainty and worry that I would listen to myself only to be let down or that I would trust the wrong voice or answer.

I felt like I just didn’t have the guidance or the example of confidence that showed me how to deal with this doubt and for me it cropped up the MOST when I actually reached out a hand to help someone and began to use that intuitive muscle.

Doubt was a MAJOR hinderance to me finding true alignment and confidence.

When do you feel doubt start to plague you the most? Is it when you first hear or feel an intuitive pull, or is it when you try to ACT on your intuition?

 

#6: Holding my Tongue

I know it’s really popular to tell women to say “no” more often, but what I preach now and what my real struggle was before – was knowing when to shout my YES from the rooftops

My voice, and my YES were held in and pushed down by no one other than myself for far too long.

I thought if I just held my tongue, didn’t ask the uncomfortable questions, and played the role of being the good girl that I knew so well, that things would be okay.

Maybe if I just held my tongue I’d feel comfortable… because everyone around me would feel comfortable.

My voice was choked out. I couldn’t get what I needed or desired in my relationship with myself, with God, or even my husband. I cut myself off from my true voice.

The big block and realization for me here came when I noticed that my writing was good, but wasn’t always reflecting ME. I wasn’t poetic when I wanted to be, sassy when I wanted to be, and I felt like I couldn’t or shouldn’t swear… ever. I noticed that I was trying to say all of the RIGHT things instead of saying what I truly needed to express.

I found that in order to honor my intuition and fully be IN my own body, present in every moment, I had to use my voice to EXPRESS myself openly.

When I held my tongue, nothing could possibly CHANGE for me.

Where are you blocking your voice, your writing, your expression and keeping yourself in the “right” zone instead of in your YES zone?

 

#7: Shame

By far, the biggest block I’ve experienced and the thing I run in to with almost every single one of my clients is this one – SHAME.

As a kid, I was never grounded and several of my most vivid memories in school come from the handful of times I was ever reprimanded. I even immediately and nervously confessed to my mom once that no parents had been at my friend’s house (when I had been told by said friend that they would be). I had a guilty conscience like none other.

I never wanted to be misunderstood, wrong, or in trouble.

We all have this instinct within us. This desire to be seen, heard, understood, valued, and worthy.

Whether we’re verbally told we aren’t one of these things or there’s a strongly implied rule we have to follow to be accepted, we hold on to shame.

Shame is this: covering.

Shame says “I’m wrong, I need to be hidden.”

And in our hiding, we shiver. We shake. We cower.

We rehearse the lines we’ve heard or made up in our minds about being invisible, drowned out in the noise, unimportant, wrong, worthless, and unwanted.

For me, shame came in the way, specifically, of my intuition being some sort of unparalleled evil.

To be clear, this was never expressed to me by anyone verbally, I just felt that it needed to be covered so that I could remain outwardly accepted and safe.

When we fear our own intuition and shame ourselves for exercising it… we literally cover ourselves, our divine spark, and hold tight to our beliefs about what it means to just BE us.

When I covered up ME, I felt that claustrophobic, suffocating feeling in my very bones.

How has shame shown up in your life? What about your intuition makes you want to hide it away?

 

WOW!

I know you're probably thinking that YOU can relate to so many of these and see how all of these show up for YOU and how they form this web of confusion, overwhelm, and doubt.

So, what will you DO with this new awareness?

How will you shift these blocks and what do you need to shift them IN to?

It’s time to stop desperately scurrying around and join me to learn how to flip each one of these blocks – and how you can clear any other blocks standing in the way of you fully knowing the power of your own intuition. I hear you...
 

You're ready take your intuition to the next level...

You're ready to own YOUR gifts fully to get the answers you deeply crave...

You're ready for direction in your LIFE and BUSINESS that come from WITHIN...

And you KNOW it's time to stop holding yourself back and OVERCOME the inertia of STUCK to get into aligned, compulsive, creative action again.

I have been where you are now, and I’ve flipped every one of these blocks standing in my way on my journey to owning my intuitive gifts and even finally admitting how POWERFUL and NEEDED my own gifts are in the world. What if you felt THAT confident too?

For me, doing this inner work has meant success and alignment in my spirituality, marriage, motherhood, AND finding that sweet spot with my purpose in the world.

Love, what you have now is AWARENESS... Gaining awareness is your FIRST step... but taking ACTION to do something about that is what comes next. 

Ready to sort out your blocks, blow up your own intuition, and learn how I cleared these 7 MAJOR blocks that I had? I'm ready to spill my toolbox and let you have a look inside. Just CLICK HERE for your peek (Pssst... it's totally FREE!).

 

How can I FIND my triggers and emotional BLOCKS?!

You know... sometimes we CREATE more issues for ourselves by trying to FIND things to fix than by letting those things organically come to the surface.

Introspection, awareness, and triggers are great ways for us to find our emotional blocks. Using those tools we don't have to dig too hard to find out what's "wrong"!

Today we'll chat about why this is the case and how this can serve you in your personal growth.

Should I CUT TIES when someone triggers me?

This is a BIG question you might have after last week's content about how to deal with triggers when they come up in your life.

When someone triggers you emotionally - what do you DO?

After you've taken the four steps I recommend (You can find those here if you missed them)... what's next?

Do you block them? Cut ties? What if they keep on triggering you around the same darn thing?

Here's what I have to say on the matter!

DISCLAIMER: When we're talking about triggers I mean run of the mill frustration, jealousy, etc. that we experience in our every day lives just because someone else is being a normal not perfect human being or doing something that you WISH you could do. We're NOT addressing any form of abuse, harm, or attack on you. If someone in your life is perpetuating these, seek professional help.

P.S. How do you like that new intro tune and jam?! I thought it was pretty snazzy! Who knew iMovie was so magical! :D

4 Step Method to DEAL With Triggers!

YES! The solution you've been craving is HERE!

All week you've been digging in to your own triggers and discovering what you're doing wrong...

NOW IT'S TIME! Time to start doing something RIGHT.

Your triggers are a GIFT. A MESSAGE. And a pathway for personal emotional growth and health.

Today I'm sharing with you my 4 Step Method to Deal With Triggers so you can be on your merry way as a wiser, more grounded, and emotionally healthy being <3
 

3 Trigger No-No's! Don't do this when you're TRIGGERED!

Uh oh! Are you sabotaging yourself because of your emotional triggers? That's no good...

We tend to make three big mistakes when we're dealing with triggers.

Sometimes it's all we really know.

One of them is being just plain REACTIVE...

We get ourselves into a big huff over something small... and something that truly is just there to bring us awareness around something going on within US.

Watch below to learn what the other two trigger no-no's are... and stay tuned Friday for my 4 step method for dealing with triggers!

Subscribe for my yummy updates to stay IN the know (click here).

Have you had one of these 5 Common Triggers?

So many of our emotions come from external experiences.

This person said or did this or that and IT MADE US ANGRY.

Someone else has something we want and IT MAKES US JEALOUS!

I'm here to FLIP this mentality. No one else can MAKE us feel anything, but we will become a victim to our circumstances and emotions if we don't take the time to work through our triggers in a healthy way.

Today we're starting with FIVE of the most common triggers that I see in my clients and tribe (and that I've experienced myself). If you have experienced these you'll want to make SURE you're signed up to receive the rest of this series this week. Just click here to get on the list!

I'll be sharing big no-no's when it comes to dealing with your triggers AND my 4 step method to deal with your triggers. Yum!

Enjoy the show, my dear!

YOU ARE A PARTY WAITING TO HAPPEN

YOU ARE A PARTY WAITING TO HAPPEN

Like a confetti everywhere, crazy, amazing, dancing your pants off kind of a party.

AND If you aren't feeling like THAT about yourself and your business, you're not in the right space with it. There's something DEEP missing and keeping you from getting it ON.

Get aligned with what you're totally freaking excited about and ready to throw confetti at.

You have a soul that wants to celebrate every one of your successes, your strengths, your desires... but maybe there is a fear about being "too much" or "over the top".

Screw that.

Get ready to release those BS beliefs and ask yourself how you're going to get the party started...

IT'S TIME

<3 Steena

GET HUNGRY AND YOUR FEAR WILL FADE

GET HUNGRY... AND YOUR FEAR WILL FADE...

AKA THE THINGS YOU LEARN FROM CHILDREN'S BOOKS...

I was reading this story to my kids the other night, when I paused at this:

"...they all ran around in a tizzy for a while until their HUNGER overwhelmed their FEAR."

Okay - so hopefully you're smarter than a lamb scared of a circus (as the story goes)... but I digress...

WHEN will your HUNGER overwhelm your FEAR? If you're not there yet, what will it take - seriously...

WHAT WILL IT TAKE

For you to stop saying you're ready and take action? For you to see the pleasure, fun, and excitement that's waiting for you? The satisfaction you can have?

You're a grown woman. You deserve to love your whole body and soul, thrive in your intimate and personal relationships, and then go out and ROCK your work like it ain't no thang.

Take a cue from this (honestly otherwise dull book about a horse) and get clear on what it's going to take before you claim that for yourself.


<3 Steena

I LOVE FEELING PROVOCATIVE

I LOVE *FEELING* PROVOCATIVE....

And no... I'm not talking about low cut tops or high hemlines...

I mean that deep, sassy, powerful feeling you get when you walk your talk and challenge the status quo that you've set for your life...

To find out what's really possible.

Provoking not only change from within YOU - but a ripple effect of "Hmmm..."s "Huh...."s and "Aha!"s from the people you connect with who have long stopped dreaming of possibility.

Mmm.... isn't that delicious?

And since it's just a FEELING - that means you acn have that delicious, dreamy, sassy, powerful, playful JOY whenever you darn well please.

If you find that you don't THINK you really can...

Well...

GET IN YOUR BODY.

STOP THINKING.

START FEELING.

I promise it's there for you <3
 


<3 Steena

WHY I AM CALLED - YOU ARE TOO!

I AM called to bring PLEASURE into the lives of women. Sexual, personal, relational, professional, luxurious pleasure. Pleasure that no one but YOU can give yourself permission to have.

I know I am called because this is just ME.

This is my journey.

Losing myself. Losing my joy. Losing my bliss. Losing my shine. Living my life asking everyone but ME what I really wanted and who I was supposed to be.

What I was supposed to do.

What was okay, acceptable, and right.

Finally I decided enough is enough. WHO DO I WANT TO BE?! I started seeking myself, my truth, my pleasure, my sexy happy self again. Knowing she's been there all along and doing whatever it takes to unleash her from the cage of doubt, codependency, shame, and conformity into blissed out pleasure again.

Why can't I NOT?

Because I'm not that damn selfish.

If I DO NOT share this journey, this message with the world, with women everywhere... I will be living a life that feels a lot more like dying than living.

How can I feel this much love and happiness and NOT want to empower every woman to CHOOSE this for herself in her own life?

I know it is possible. I know I am called. I know I am here to heal. And if there's one compulsion I will never give up, it's the one I have to see every woman stand strong in who she is, writhing in pleasure, dancing in joy, and finding that the whole time she was chasing some "other" goal... that the prize was within her the whole stinkin' time.

That's why.


<3 Steena

THE SECRET CHAKRA

I was talking with a friend yesterday about the sacral chakra, our womb, and the creativity and force that indwells there.
 

 

It really is a shame that the throat (voice), heart (soul), and solar plexus (power) chakras get so much air time these days, while the foundational chakras (root and sacral) get neglected.

 

The key here is this: these chakras are FOUNDATIONAL. If your root and sacral chakra are out of whack I don’t care how many other meditations, programs, and healings you do to find your power and your voice - it ain’t gonna stick.

 

So while I think it is of utmost importance to find out who you are, listen to your heart, step in to your power, and use your voice… there’s something totally missing from all of that. At the moment, there seems to be a belief that the masculine energy in the world is imbalanced and needs more femininity. Well, let me tell you something. That imbalance didn’t come from men acting above the belt and it won’t be healed by women acting from above the belt either. I’ll lay it out REAL clear here.

 

If you are disconnected from your womb, your vagina, and your sexuality - YOU CANNOT CREATE in the world. You can use up all the energy of your solar plexus, heart, and throat trying to create a life that satisfies you. You can try try try to be present and heal your life. But, really? You cannot create the life that you desire if you cannot connect to the most intimate part of you that is at the root and foundation of your being.

 

As women, our vaginas seem to carry this dirty stigma because of our periods and birth which are both considered to be part of “the curse” in the bible. We have grown up believing - even if it wasn’t spoken verbally - that women are somehow less than, handicapped, and gross because we bleed monthly and expel children from our sexual organs.

Please people. Stop the madness.

 

I have hosted full moon circles, book clubs about this, and spoken to so many women who are creatively frustrated, overwhelmed by the rushed feeling of their lives, and don’t know where they are going. They feel a tightness in their chest, a lump in their throat, or a pit in their stomach.

 

But, actually, I’ve talked to very few women who are actually aware enough of their sacral bowl to feel anything there.

 

When I suggest connecting to their cycle, the moon, their menstruation, or - gasp - doing their own vaginal massage. There is so much resistance and dismissal. As if these will not making any REAL difference. These women want results. They want to rise up as a warrior and charge forward.

 

Let’s have a little sex ed lesson here.

Men ejaculate multiple times a month. Let’s just say 12 times or more given that on average men want sex every two or three days. In ONE ejaculation a man can release between 40 million and 1.2 billion sperm. So in one month that’s at least a BILLION sperm.

 

Women ovulate once a month. Once. She probably desires to connect with her partner multiple times but is more sexually ravenous when she is fertile. In ONE month a woman releases ONE egg. So in one month that’s ONE egg. Repetitive, I know, but pay attention.

 

In order to create ONE baby, a man produces a BILLION seeds. That’s a heck of a lot of effort and chance to successfully produce one being. Even if we look at one single sex act, we’re still somewhere in the millions or a billion of sperm.

 

In order to create ONE baby, a woman produces ONE egg. Do you see the difference here? ONE to one BILLION.

 

A man’s role in creation is really quick, cyclical but within a day or three, and is really unconcerned with the results. He will continue to ejaculate and try to impregnate in order to create. He will just. Keep. Going.

 

A woman, on the other hand, has a slower, cyclical, receptive, nurturing role in creation. She receives ONE sperm. ONE. in order to allow creation to unfold. At the point of fertilization her entire physiology changes to begin supporting new life and nurturing this creation. She will then be attached to this creation for months until she births it in to the world. At which point she’ll feed her baby from her own body for months and slowly the little one will gain enough independence to care for itself. Really we are talking years here.

 

(I realize this is simplified and idealized but the broader view is important here)

 

So as the man goes on to continue to do the exact same thing he has always done to release his creative potential, a woman does not.

 

Even a woman who never bears children will go through monthly cycles of preparing, releasing, clearing, releasing and on and on.

 

She isn’t the same today as tomorrow or next week. Always slowly changing. Always cycling with her work, her purpose, her being.

 

And all of this is in the sacral bowl. Your pelvis. Your womb.

 

Your feminine being is centered here. Where the posibility of life is procured and reception of only the best and greatest will do. Where new life comes, where death and release comes. Every month. A mini life, a mini death, a mini birth.

 

But also, not mini. Magnificent.

 

Within the sacral chakra, the creative energy center of a woman, is our true ability to heal ourselves. To become fully expressed.

 

But there is so much fear.

 

Fear of touching. Fear of knowing. Fear of actually experiencing our sensual, sexual, intimate places as if they are truly our own. The fear is in your root.

 

If you have only ever allowed a man to explore the landscape of your sexuality. If you have believed the lie that women don’t want sex, that being sexy is inducing lust, and that touching yourself in any way is dirty… there is inexplicable joy to be found within you yet.

 

We must reclaim our womb space, stop cutting ourselves off at the waist, and drop down… way down… below our hearts… below our driving power… into the sacred space of creation that we hold between our lucious hips.

 

The place of movement. Life. Fertility. Our earth. Our groundedness.

 

Our wounded wombs are crying out. And we are so desprate to find satisfaction on the outside that we have yet to seek it on the inside.

 

Think of a time that you had an intensely delicious orgasm. Mind blowing pleasure flowing through your viens and totally disconnecting you from thought. (And if you haven’t, know that this entirely is possible for you.)

 

In that moment you became totally overwhelmed by the earthy, lush, intoxicating energy of your womb. You let yourself go. You connected. You climaxed. You felt deeply. You received. You dreamed. You breathed. You moaned.

 

This.

 

This is the place you yearn for. The purpose you desire. The satisfaction you seek.

 

You may be heard, acknowledged, and powerful in the world… but you will still know there is something more. And it is within you. In this deeply sacred space. This is where transformation can be experienced and your roots set down into the earth with a confidence that you are connected. Whole. A healed womb (even if you no longer physically have a uterus). Ready to unleash your magnificent, majestic self.

 

To take your throne.

 

No longer a princess, but a queen.

 

Ready to let life flow from a place she has not known for so long.

 

This is you, soul sister. The creator. The receiver. The nourisher. The healer.

 

Live from this place of deeper knowing and let your power, your heart, and your voice be effortlessly fueled from the sacred well of spirit within you.


 

ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH

ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH.

If you post something ONCE.

Ask for help ONCE.

Try a new way ONCE.

Commit to yourself ONCE.

And then don't get the results you want....

It's because ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH!

If you want to manifest beautiful, mind blowing life shifts...

If you want to be in the friggen' spotlight... If you want the world to HEAR you, SEE you, and KNOW you.

If you want to love your body... Cherish your skin... Relish in your sexuality... FEEL your sensuality... OWN yourself and STRUTT that shit.

On EVERY STINKIN' LEVEL, you have GOT to be FIERCELY following through.

Taking action.

Following through.

Knowing YOU.

Taking action.

Giving more.

Gushing YOU from your very pores.

Following through.

Taking action.

Celebrating YOU.

Following through...

MORE MORE MORE.

GOT IT?

You only fail when you CHOOSE to give up. AND YOU are not worth giving up on.

You are worth so. Much. More.

ONCE is not enough.

YOU are not enough.

YOU ARE MORE.

‪#‎sassypantson‬ ‪#‎confidenceisqueen‬


<3 Steena

7 SEXY SECRETS ABOUT VISIBILITY....

7 SEXY SECRETS ABOUT VISIBILITY....

Mmmmmkay.... It's come to my attention that this needs to be said.

So, I'll get right to it.

>>> 1) Being visible, being SEEN online is 1000% about confidence. Not knowledge or information or education. Sorry/not sorry to burst your ego bubble.

>>> 2) Confidence is a direct reflection of how tapped in and tuned in you are to the absolute CORE of who you are. No, it's NOT about an inflated ego!

>>> 3) The core of WHO you are is this crazy good combination of your identity, sexuality, physicality, and spirituality that flows out IF and ONLY IF you have done the WORK to get really clear and aligned with it.

>>> 4) That work does not have to be teeth-grinding, head banging, frustrating work. The thing is, you've got to bring FUN into it if you really want the results to last.

>>> 5) Oh. And you have GOT to embrace BEING and FEELING sexy if you want to be visible. SEXY IS SEEN.

>>> 6) More on that sexy bit... You do NOT have to put yourself out there as seductive, flirty, sassy, feisty, harsh, crude, flashy, loud or brash to be SEXY... OR.... YOU CAN BE - YOU CHOOSE. This is deeper than all of that though...

>>> 7) Being visible online means doing really friggen' deep work. You CANNOT just buy a social media strategy and expect it to dig down into your subconscious, release the crap holding you back, and magically create motivation, consistency, and confidence in your work that creates a whole new paradigm for you that makes you feel SAFE to be SEEN. If that's what you're hoping for, you're mistaken... that's what *I* do, my dear.

PHEW.

That feels better.

I just KNOW there's SO much more out there for you, and I know that confident, sexy you is just WAITING to be unleashed fully.

Now...

OVS TO THE GROVES (no balls to the wall here) and get rolling with what the heck you're going to do about being stuck where you're at.

It starts now.

<3 ‪#‎sassypantson‬ ‪#‎confidenceisqueen‬
 


<3 Steena

UNFINISHED BUSINESS

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BOUGHT A PACKAGE/PROGRAM AND NEVER FINISHED IT?!?!

Want to know something that keeps your VIBE way down LOW?

Unfinished things leaking your energy...

ICK!!!

Whether it's a course, a program, a project, or just piles of laundry waiting to be folded - your unfinished business is bringing you down, scattering you all over the place, and keeping you distracted from your TRUE priorities.

So... if you're eyeing a new program or package here today ladies - ask yourself this question - have I finished what I've already started?

AND THEN - here's the kicker - ASK YOURSELF: WHY?

A) If you didn't finish because it wasn't the right fit - write the name of that thing down, burn it with a match, and seriously let it GO. Don't let that take up your energy any more feeling guilty about it.

B) If you felt like it was too much work, you didn't have the time, or you didn't think it was the RIGHT time... revisit the thing you bought. The current struggle you're having - would it get you the results you want? THEN DO IT NOW. Put in the work and get the results you so desire. IF NOT - follow instructions under A)!

C) If you can't think of the last thing that went unfinished - congratulations you have incredible follow through and I wonder if you've even made it reading to the end of this post. Also, since you're superwoman - I would LOVE to hear if this is something you've already dealt with from your past of if you've always been this way.

NOW THAT YOU KNOW - just be HONEST with yourself before you buy another package or service. Are you REALLY ready to do the work? READY to make changes?

READY to finally find the pleasure, joy, fulfillment, and results you WANT in your life and biz?

Only you can choose those things, dear. And, YES, I am DOING THIS right now myself. I have a list of all of the things I've purchased in 2015 and what I need to do to close those doors as I step into the new year.

So get out there and DO your thing - and HIRE the help when you're so ready that you KNOW you're ALREADY on your way. I DON'T EVEN CARE IF IT'S ME!!! If it is... well - you're on my blog so just look below here and you'll find the deets.

JUST DO IT (whatever IT is)  - for you.


<3 Steena

DON'T FIGHT YOUR EASY... FOLLOW YOUR EASY...

Don't fight your easy.... follow your easy.

Stop taking the path of the MOST resistance just to make things hard.

There's no merit in being a martyr for your own sake... just to look like you're working hard and putting in the blood sweat and tears.

There will be enough crap to sort through without you creating more of it.

Easy does not mean lazy.

Easy does not mean crappy quality.

Easy does not mean slow.

EASY means doing what you love, just doing WHO you are and finally friggen opening up to receive the massive momentum you *say* that you want in your life and biz.

Just BE easy.


<3 Steena

I WAS SO PISSED OFF

I was so pissed off.

I got home with the crazy good Asian-fusion takeout... AND THERE WERE NO CHRUNCHIES!!!

JUST before I had written a comment at the restaurant saying that was my FAVORITE thing about the place...

No. I'm not kidding.

Fried wantons. Special dipping sauce. Heaven. In a box.

I was SO angry... And it appeared that my husband wasn't going to go racing back for me.

Even more angry. No one to save me.

I stormed out of the house to drive MYSELF back to get the dang Crunchies.

Sitting in my car after I realized.

This is it.

This is what pays off.

When something gets messed up. Forgotten. Looked over. Whatever. Doesn't work.

You out on your big girl panties. Get your rear end back in the drivers seat. And go GET IT for yourself.

Persistence.

If you haven't seen the results you want yet, take an honest look at how persistent and consistent you are with your work... AND yourself.

Don't give up just because someone forgot to put the Crunchies in your bag.

The drive back will be worth it every time.