53 Poisonous Self-Sabotage Patterns in Your Business, Body, and Sex Life That You Can Shift Now to Reclaim Your Truth, Your Power, and Your Voice – Online, On Video, and In Bed

Your business...

Your body...

Your sex life...

Self-sabotage rears its ugly head in our entrepreneurial ascension, our sensual and spiritual bodies, and our sexuality.

So. Damn. Often.

And, let’s be honest, these are three areas where pleasure, play, and ravishing riches should be REIGNING in your life.


BUT, because we are women with a history of generations of being made less than, put down, made to feel that we must earn our existence and validity… there is a deep part of us that resists the divine energy of feminine power waiting within us.

We are afraid of our own brilliance and radiance… so we hide the fuck out of it, sabotage it to near death, and try to “fix” these energetically ingrained patterns with extremely ineffective masculine methods, structures, and behavioral alterations that simply DO NOT stick. 

The record playing in the background sounds something like this...

"What if I am found out? What if I succeed? What if I am exposed? What if I am judged? What if I charge too much? What if I give too little? What if I am heard and seen? What if I can’t follow through? What if I am suddenly KNOWN to be powerful, magical, and sexy as fuck? Can I actually handle that? AM I actually that?

"What if I stop obliging others, begging for permission, and simply act from my soul without apologizing?”

“Will I get hurt? Will I be attacked? Will I be vilified? Will I be accused of being a heretic and told I’m going to hell?” (No effing joke, right?)

When you repeat these questions subconsciously, you embed them into your energy field. You create BELIEFS that lodge energy in your body that is meant to be flowing through freely.

The emotional charge of fear, anger, jealousy, and doubt are literally programmed in as your truth.

They feel safe.



Certainly, this does you know favors and ultimately it leads to crushing your soul’s voice and purpose with a heavy dose of self-sabotage. Both deliberately and subconsciously, you take action to move AWAY from what you actually desire in order to keep yourself “safe.”

What a cheap substitute for the true frequency of safety that is rooted in trust, wholeness, and the truth of YOUR divinity.

Right now the self-sabotage beliefs say that you must give your time, your energy, and your space to your children, your clients, and your spouse to the extent that you neglect your own nourishment, dreams, and passion… which is running you into the ground and reinforcing mighty wobbly boundaries.

Imagine a nursing woman doing the same… giving her baby all of her milk and taking no time to hydrate, rest, and eat nourishing foods for herself.

She will only survive for so long. And it will only be pure survival.

First, awareness is required. Together here, we’re shining the light of honesty, release, and renewal into the sometimes elusive ways of self-sabotage.

I’ve compiled 53 ways self-sabotage symptoms show up in your business, body, and sex life… and at the end of this list I’m revealing HOW you can SHIFT these in your energy to create sexy, sassy, feminine flow and bringing pleasure, play, and ravishing riches into your life.

SPOILER ALERT: We will totally be talking about your pussy/vagina/yoni – the works.



1.     Trying the same tapping routines, mindset hacks, and affirmations to shift your vibration to no avail

2.     Journaling the bejesus out of your problems trying to THINK your way out of emotional triggers, blocks, and baggage

3.     Over-giving your time by coaching on a sales call where you can feeeeel yourself slipping into fear that your presence and offer is not enough - you have to give more “value"

4.     Giving someone more support outside of sessions than paid for/agreed to, effectively leaking your energy day in and day out

5.     Giving someone more time on their session than paid for/agreed to which leaves you looking obsessively at the clock and not present to serve

6.     Offering extra sessions in a package because the client isn’t doing the work to get results creating seriously obnoxious co-dependency

7.     Not calling your clients out when they’re swimming in their own story and can’t get out which means you both end up drowning in the abyss

8.     Watering down your truth in your videos, livestreams, and social media posts to avoid judgement and criticism

9.     Shying away from clearly stating and owning your gifts and power as a healer for fear that people will think you’re a quack, turn on you, or ostracize you

10.  Giving a discount to someone because you feel bad for them and really want to help eeeeeeverybody

11.  Working for absolutely free - when you’re not a brand new coach… even then, I think this practice is questionable

12.  Deflecting compliments and positive feedback from people who love you and mean every damn word (especially your spouse/partner)

13.  Pre-judging someone before you even get on a sales call, assuming they can’t afford what you have to offer, don’t have the time, or won’t commit

14.  Saying YES to a collaborative opportunity without checking in with yourself first to see if it’s a fit

15.  Implementing every system under the sun at once for your sales funnel and draining your resources in the process

16.  Offering so many programs/packages at once you can’t keep them straight and neither can the women you’re trying to serve with them

17.  Delaying raising your prices well beyond when you planned to because you can’t fully feel into confidence in the new rate

18.  Sitting at your desk staring at a blank page wondering WTF to write while getting more stuck and anxious by the minute

19.  Not giving CTA’s in your livestreams, videos, and posts leaving your followers nowhere to satisfy their cravings for more and eventually become customers

20.  Hesitating to reach out to women you know you could serve and help because you’re afraid of being spammy or sales-y

21.  Agreeing to an interview, podcast, or media appearance without checking out the alignment of the source

22.  Working late at night and getting revved up with your tech issues before bed effectively getting you stuck in your ego and logical mind when you really want a good fucking

23.  Holding in rage, anger, and frustration over the little things with your partner leading to explosions, sexual shut downs, and disconnect you have to repair later

24.  Neglecting your body’s need to MOVE because you just have “too much to do” perpetuating cycles of sluggishness and stagnant sexual energy in your hips, legs, and pelvic bowl

25.  Eating crap (or not eating at all) throughout your work day because you just can’t stop yourself from working which means zero nourishment for you

26.  Bingeing on sugar, wine, and other comforts at night before bed so you wake up in the morning bloated and so not ready to flow into your day

27.  Letting your body get dehydrated - THIS IS HUGE - water is a conductor of electricity and your energy IS electric which means you’re stopping up the flow of emotion and energy with this one

28.  Busying yourself with getting all the tech set up perfect (landing pages, websites, sales copy, etc.) before you launch - perfectionistic anyone?

29.  Taking on an ENTIRE project with no support or outsourcing making you feel like you have to play psycho super woman or bust

30.  Doing it ALL at home - kids, laundry, meals, cleaning, errands, etc. - while also running your business leaving you running around like a chicken with her head cut off and not fully serving anyone

31.  Leaving no time or ENERGY at the end of the day for pleasure which creates quite a lackluster experience in the bedroom if I do say so myself

32.  Creating little riffs over menial issues with your spouse especially right before bed… need I say more?

33.  Not expressing your desires to your partner and wondering why they can’t read your mind

34.  Telling your partner you’re not in the mood when really you’re just annoyed they aren’t “doing it right” and consequently becoming annoyed and resentful TOWARDS YOURSELF for not speaking up

35.  Giving refunds for programs and products that had clear no-refund guidelines leaving you angry and resenting the person AND/OR yourself for not sticking to your boundaries

36.  Listening to and taking in criticism and negative feedback about your work indiscriminately from sources you don’t even value or trust

37.  Carrying old baggage and shame about your sexuality and sensuality that keep you from touching your body and exploring intimately with your partner

38.  Forgetting to charge your vibrator… or convincing yourself it’s broken because you were using the wrong charger - you know… personal experience here

39.  Forgetting to buy condoms or other necessities that totally fuck your plans to fuck!

40.  Shutting down and turning off your flirt with your partner making life feel quite mundane

41.  Reciting old mean girls scripts from middle and high school in the back of your mind whenever you take massive action in your life

42.  Saying YES to obligations with friends or family that are truly optional and not something you desire to do creating an energy of slavery and force that is SO heavy and icky

43.  Returning to a spiritual/religious community that continually denies your gifts and power overtly and/or covertly because you can fly under the radar that way and not be challenged

44.  Telling your partner that you wouldn’t mind picking up slack with housework when you were planning on a bath… then pouting the rest of the night for your self-induced torture

45.  Volunteering yourself to take care of a friends kids for the afternoon when you’re already exhausted and frazzled

46.  Not closing a sale because you just couldn’t communicate the power and value of what you offer and stand in that FOR the client who needed your support

47.  Insisting on working WHILE trying to be with your kiddos all the while wishing you had the time to just play with them creating absolute chaos - guaranteed

48.  Denying yourself sensual pleasure, baths, walks, yoga classes, dance, and foods you love because practical is more fucking important

49.  Having networking, masterminding, or just connection calls regularly that turn into you coaching your friend for free

50.  Putting off your weekly content creation until Sunday night - when it needs to be published Monday creating stress and pressure that instantly puts a damper on the start of your week

51.  Not explicitly telling people how they can work with you or what you offer leaving your tribe and potential clients wondering if you’re the real deal and how you can actually help them

52.  Hiring a strategist, funnel expert, or business coach when you’ve done zero inner work, energy work, or embodiment work first to learn to master your intuition, uplevel without high-vibe hangovers, and use your sexual energy to supercharge your vibration for juicy, rich success

53.  Buying a magic bullet promise to try and heal your self-sabotage without committing to the life-long journey of living at the level of your feminine soul to own your truth, power, and innate wealth frequency



Now that you’ve shifted into the seat of the observer, noticed where these patterns are showing up for you, and probably gotten fed the fuck up with how many of these you see in your own life...

Let’s go even deeper…

When you allow your boundaries to be compromised, when you take action to sabotage your own momentum, success, and blessing, the truth is…

YOU are allowing your time, energy, and Self to be violated. Encroached on. Dishonored. Destroyed.

It’s harsh, I get it, but I cannot and will not stand for anything less that your absolute highest good, glory, and fierce expression here, love.

It is not your fault, there’s no need for blame, but it IS your responsibility to release this junk and move on through it now that you KNOW.

Violation and sabotage patterns can be set in place by any number of sexual, emotional, physical, and energetic violations from past traumas, generations past, and past lives where you played the victim over and over again. Where beliefs about WHO you were and WHAT was okay for you became essential for your survival.

In the absence of external masters, attackers, and manipulators… you keep the energetic pattern going yourself. Violating your own power and keeping you from your highest potential and expression.

Haven’t you had enough of that B.S.?

It is time for a radical shift. It is time for you to stop veering off of the road and channel your energy effectively toward your goals, your vision, and your highest calling. 

To play in your business, to feel pleasure surging through your body next to your love, and to recieve richly from work that you love as a healer and creative force to be reckoned with.

Now more than ever it is crucial to release the ages of people-pleasing baggage and self-sabotaging so that you can truly serve from your soul, unashamedly share your healing gifts, be present in your body, and embody the frequency of your ultimate vision.

After speaking with several women struggling with self-sabotage recently, I’ve seen how women are STILL checking out of their bodies, checking into their egos, and chasing after lackluster solutions for this self-sabotage epidemic.

These solutions include: hiring a business strategy coach, implementing more funnels, investing haphazardly in more Facebook ads, hiring a mindset mentor, and gathering more “information” about their specific sabotage issue.

The problem is - this isn’t where the problem is rooted...


So, where DO you begin? What ACTUALLY works to get to the root of the issue?

Here’s the easiest way to remember when you’re tempted to try and “fix” things externally, make more to-do lists, plan more, and perform more to get out of your energetic rut:



Your frequency, your spirituality, and your ability to tune in and turn on your feminine creative power (and manifest the glorious shit out of your life) is what MUST be addressed FIRST to make sustainable progress.

UNTIL those are addressed there is no point in trying to implement elaborate structures, fancy systems, and intense strategies to change your ourcomes... it’ll be nothing but an uphill battle.

Lucky for you… you needn’t look any further than the beautiful body you’re sitting in right now to find the answers, power, and secrets you need to shift out of self sabotage, own your power, speak your truth, and ravish yourself in pleasure, play, and riches.

Because love… Your yoni holds the secret.

Your pussy power.

Your vulva vibration.

The energy of the sacred.

The divine.

The holy.

The seat of true safety, trust, and feminine expression.


You’re probably thinking “What’s next?! How do I get to the root of my sabotage and unleash this feminine power? I feel this truth deep in my body… but I haven’t really BEEN here before!”

First I want you to know - this is all manageable.

YOU are a woman of indisputable divinity. That means you can alchemize all of this into creating beautiful, juicy boundaries that will lighten your energetic load and have you speaking your truth and trusting your vixen voice in no time!

Here’s three steps you can take RIGHT NOW to catalyze your sexy, sassy, creative shift:


STEP 1: 

Place your right hand on your womb/pelvis and your left on your heart space. Take a deep breath and reclaim this space:

“I now commit to unleashing my feminine pussy power and refuse to allow sabotage to run rampant and unchecked in my body, my business, and my sex life any longer.”



Allow yourself to be for a moment here, hands still in place and ask, “Where am I denying the luscious, sacred support I truly desire and deserve in my life, my business, and my feminine embodiment?”

Are you ready to step into a sacred sisterhood? Manifest the perfect mentor? Take an honest look at what’s holding you back… what’s underneath the surface symptoms of your struggle?



Take a step from your soul to create an energetic charge towards what your body revealed as your current desire. Not sure exactly where to start?

I’ll make this super easy for you - START HERE - and I’ll guide you through a five day immersion {TOTALLY FREE} to take your self-sabotage patterns and SHIFT them into a deep, juicy, unleashed V-power (that's vagina, voice, and visibility) to take your frequency into a level of dynamic confidence so you can effortlessly speak your truth and show up in your FULL divine potential in the world.

No more ignoring your divine feminine pussy power. No more violating yourself. You’ve got this. Now own it, and get your sexy on, woman!