Are you guilty of pigeon-holing yourself and getting STUCK before you even START?
I know that when I began my journey as an entrepreneur, I had tunnel vision in a niche that just wasn’t my joy and calling.
I thought I could only help others with something that was “practical” and conventional. Being a mom, I knew I could help other women with their routines, their pregnancies, and their journey into motherhood. I kept things pretty vanilla… never venturing into such taboo areas as sexuality or spirituality.
I hid my own journey of personal development through motherhood and birth (for fear that women who were NOT mothers wouldn't be able to relate).
I kept myself from sharing my wild intuition and accurate vision of someone's business alignment. I didn't push ANY boundaries that felt uncomfortable.
I chased systems, solutions, and education thinking that maybe... somewhere... someone would have that GOLDEN TICKET answer that would show me the way. In my head I heard...
Stick with logical.
Stick with rational.
Stick with normal.
Pushing and pressing on, I tried to find clients who I could serve. I gave away free session after free session helping anyone I could. Every woman got great results and was able to decrease her stress and find grounded structure again… but I ended my days feeling less than inspired, and wondering if I was really cut out for any service based work.
I started to feel burnt out. Exhausted. And a little bit lost.
I was six months into my coaching business when I realized I was keeping myself from fully expressing my creativity, my intuition, and my gifts. Thankfully, I had insatiable curiosity on my side and I wondered… What would it be like to feel really free to serve others the way my heart was calling me to?
What if I could use all of my gifts, instead of just the ones that wouldn’t rock the boat and feel risky?
What if I could take my insatiable love of learning and the holistic healing tools, spiritual practices, energy work, and straight coaching… and let them all integrate in my work?
What if I could unleash my voice, my gift, and my truth and actually help others… and myself on a deeper level?
What if I could just… be me?
Have you been there… or are you there now? That crazy-making place of doubt, fear, and overwhelm…
When it seems like what other people think of you is tantamount to your success?
Where you toss and turn at night because you feel so stuck, so foggy, and downright frustrated that you’re holding back this amazing part of who you are?
That ache that comes with silencing our own voices and keeping our story behind closed doors… is relentless.
But I also know that underneath all of that is a deeper part of you where you just KNOW with certainty that you have all of the answers you need...
That you’re divinely provided for...
That you’re here to love and serve and give and receive abundantly...
AND - that you simply CANNOT do that while denying that voice of wisdom within you, the glimpses of truth you see in your daydreams, the nudges and “coincidences” that happen around you.
There were SEVEN major blocks that kept me from fully owning and expressing my truth, my intuition, and my SELF. These kept ME just as unaware of the full power and potential of my gifts as it did others. And that, my friend, is just plain sad!
My business brought me face to face with these blocks and I had to admit my own truth. I had to listen, finally. I don’t want YOU to struggle as long as I did - which, truly was YEARS before I started my business… so I’m sharing here WHAT those seven blocks were and WHY they have changed and shaped my work and how I show up in the world.
#1: My Thinking
Growing up, I was very academic. I loved learning, I loved reading, and I loved school.
I think we can all identify with the huge emphasis on book-smart education. We learn that this one particular type of intelligence is valuable, and what will get us into college and then into a great job.
The massive down side to our dependence on text book learning and over-testing ourselves is that we neglect to foster or even affirm at all the less “tangible” gifts.
Intuition, psychic abilities, empathic gifts, and even a heart to serve aren’t a part of how we’re taught to operate in the world for success. Heck, we don’t even learn how to have a basically successful relationship in school!
After middle school I stopped reading books about magical lands. Far gone were the days of building an airplane out of cardboard and hoping I could fly to those very same far off places. I let go of memories of the little bags of gemstone rocks I always collected, and forgot about the “book of answers” I used to play with. Jeannie’s bottle got packed away with older toys, and slowly but surely everything seemed a little less enchanting and quite a lot more serious and grown up.
It wasn’t until I started to rekindle this flame within me and recognize the glimpses of my intuition and deep divine knowing in stories I remembered of my childhood and experiences I’d had as I grew older that were inexplicable on a logical level, that I realized there was something MORE.
Something more to me, and something more to what I had to give in the world.
This logic-dependence and left-brain overdrive was the first big block and hindrance to me fully owning my truth and in this case my psychic intuition.
Where have you experienced this denial of your own intuition?
#2: Social Taboos
On the heels of the academia-wired-me came social taboos that said that things like spirituality and holistic healing were just… hogwash! I wasn’t surrounded by others exploring their identity or beliefs and so, I learned in secret.
I would literally turn books around on my bookshelf when company was coming, not like pages on Facebook (thinking they’d show up in someone else’s feed), and keep from sharing much of what I was working on with friends and family.
For lack of confidence in my own guidance, intuition, and wisdom, I defaulted to staying quiet on matters that were incredibly important to me, skirting topics I didn’t want to be judged for having opinions on, and I kept my gifts off limits unless I was in a private FB group that I knew was full of people who would accept me.
Holding back to keep the peace was not serving me, or the women who truly needed what I had to share.
How have you shut down your truth in social situations because of a fear of judgement?
Now, I don’t have a typical story on this one!
I didn’t grow up super religious. My family wasn’t especially conservative or spiritual. I was vaguely Christian, and we were good people who believed that God existed, so we would go to heaven. All I really knew about Jesus as a kid was what I had learned from felt boards and tiny tracts I received when I dressed up in my fancy dress to go to church with my best friend after a sleepover.
It wasn’t until I dated a guy in high school who came from a family who was Jehovah’s witness that I really dove in to my Christian faith.
Yeah, read that again.
His own beliefs and opinions made me question my own. Some things he said didn’t make sense or sit well with me personally… so I knew I had to seek my own truth and “figure out what I believed.” On a Friday afternoon we broke up. Things were tense with his family (who thought he should only “date to mate” and preferably not date anyone outside of the church) and I didn’t feel like I could fully love or understand all of who he was
That very next Sunday I decided to go to church to find the answers I was craving… and I never looked back.
When I bought my first Bible, I read, re-read, and memorized the “Love” passage from 1 Corinthians… and the verses right around there about spiritual gifts. I prayed and PRAYED for those things!
I wanted to EXPERIENCE God.
I wanted to see miracles, healing, prophecy, and whatever other magic God wanted to send my way.
I was ready.
So, when I found that I really did have a few of those spiritual gifts… but that they weren’t always accepted even in the church (mind spinning yet?)… I wasn’t sure what to do with them.
Again… I let them lay dormant. I didn’t pursue my own gifts. I kept them quiet.
As you can imagine, there’s so much more to tell here, but in short… I wrestled time and time again with what was “okay” by church status quo standards.
Was it okay to use muscle testing? What about pendulums? Are crystals some kind of weird magic? Is energy work false healing? What about these visions I have? Can I use oracle cards? What about moon circles? Are they okay? Acupuncture? Meridians? Yoga? Kundalini? Psychics?
Oh… good grief… the list seemed ENDLESS.
Then, something shifted. Not once, but several times.
I trusted and acted.
I trusted that anything false would fail and fade away. I asked God for answers, for guidance, for wisdom, and I was always answered. I tuned in to my own inner knowing and intuition and acted on it. I stopped worrying about what other people would think, let go of my ideas of the big hairy scary Church, and I started to just be the ME that I was created to be.
Recently, I’ve realized that religion is a sore spot of hurt, judgement, legalism, and restriction for so many. Christian or not.
Has there been a time for you in the past or recently where you felt you had to hide or stifle your truth and identity because it somehow went against your religious beliefs, the beliefs of those around you, or because you were taught it was against God?
CATCH PART 2 in this series HERE where I share the other four massive blocks I had to clear and alchemize in my subconscious and soul so I could show up FULLY as myself in the world and fearlessly speak my truth.