Two years ago I could barely own that I was intuitive.
That I knew anything outside of my ordinary five senses...
That I was connected to something deeper than my brain/ego/thoughts...
That I could see and feel energy that was beyond seeing.
One year ago my chest still bound up in anxiety at the thought of claiming the word psychic.
I could use all of my divine gifts in private - to support a client or friend, but hell if I was going to ADMIT to them publicly.
Even in the fall of last year I was still testing the waters of my truth. The same truth that every one of my coaches or mentors had spelled out loud and clear - that I wasn't entirely ready to take responsibility of.
Intuitive... psychic… healer… goddess… call it what you will but the biggest leap for me was owning that I AM a priestess.
A woman who is between worlds. Who sees beyond the seen and bridges the unknown and known. Who can bring deep sexual healing, identity integration, soul work, alchemy, and rhythm into life. She knows that she is an embodiment of the divine and is a channel of an inexplicably healing love. In her inner stillness, she knows the I AM. She gets the CONNECTION and oneness of all things - marriage, motherhood, womanhood, business, sex, spirituality.
So why - why did I hide? Why did I pretend?
SHAME about being a mystical priestess of a woman. Let’s be honest - women in leadership in most secular or religious organizations are still in the minority. In churches you’re basically relegated to hospitality, children’s ministry, or make-me-barf pink flowery pastel women’s ministry duties.
GUILT about my sexuality - intimately shutting down with my partner, scared to death of touching and pleasuring my own body, and afraid if I showed just too much skin here or there it made me a whore and temptation to all men who would bring the world down with me. Who was I to be sexy? To be seen? To be heard? To create my life? To make my own damn money?
FEAR that if I went outside of the religious box (PUBLICLY) and took the woo-woo, mystical AF, sassy-pants, playful woman out of my safe little living room and put her on the BIG open stage of the internet and my life…that something TERRIBLE would happen…
That God himself would strike down from the heavens and let me know what a heathen and heretic I was - had always been.
Because I forgot to mention…ALL of my childhood was spent reading every book about magic I could get my hands on. I had a long shelf above my bed where I collected crystals, rocks, and special momentos. I’d sit in the driveway with a piece of cardboard for hours just KNOWING someday I could instantly turn it into a plane (at least in my mind it was). I even - quite compulsively - bought a book in Hot Topic one day with a friend called - The Answer Book - my start to dowsing and receiving intuitive answers.
Sure, at the time I was just a playful, curious, innocent little Steena…but I had no qualms about following my heart or soul.
Then at the age of 16 I found myself questioning the world, God, and spirituality. What did I believe? Who was God? What was truth?
I needed to find it, but even more - I need the search.
As any good girl in a small town in Michigan would do… I decided to go to church, buy a bible, and figure it out.
Honestly, church was pretty dull and filled with senior citizens, but somehow I found God there… or God found me. I had study time with my friend and her mom before the service. They marveled at my comprehension, wisdom, and questions…and nightly I prayed, listened to God, and read the bible with my own two eyes (not through the interpretation of patriarchal conditioning).
It was years, a couple of moves and major life changes, and a few churches later before I realized I had lost it…my magic. My wonder. My curiosity. My love. I had let the culture of Christianity and perceived expectations from churches and devoted family members to totally cloud my connection with God.
While in my early years of exploring and seeking MORE I prayed for prophecy, healing, and spiritual gifts… but I had found out later that this type of miracle and mystery was hardly welcomed let alone desired or revered in the church.
This slowly killed my excitement…and began to unravel the cords of attachment I had formed with institutionalized faith.
As I came into womanhood, married my love, and had my children the healing I was required to do simply did not fit in my good little Christian wife box.
I explored energy. Chakras. Meridians. Ancestral and generational healing. Dream work. Intuitive channeling. Messages of the body. Past lives. Crystals. Dowsing. Oracle Cards. Energy clearing. Womb work.
In short, I found Steena again. Under the blankets and veils of shoulds and status quos.
Also, I found God again. No…Spirit was never lost…but what good is having something within you if you have to keep it hidden and pretend it’s not there?
I was tired of the act.
Of going to church and being taught that I had to suffer and struggle to know God.
Of pretending that I actually believed that hundreds of years of patriarchal reign and interpretation of the Bible equaled divine, infallible truth.
Of acting like a frigid, average, suburban mom to avoid shocking anyone with my mystical charm.
And I never, EVER again would put myself in a position where I felt disempowered, persecuted and had to try and defend and bend and shape and mold myself, my moon circles, my oracle cards, my crystals, my rituals, and my psychic self into the confines of a box determined by someone else who was motivated by the fear that I would go to hell in a hand basket if I did anything that didn’t LOOK or SOUND Christian enough. (literal, true story)
I was done. I wanted more. And I wanted to know and love God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit without having to measure up to someone’s list of rules about what that did and didn’t include.
I was done hiding in shame, drowning in guilt, and walking through my life in the utter darkness of fear.
How could I torture myself any longer? Bleaching the color out of my soul and beating the life out of my every breath?
Well, as you may have guessed - I couldn’t.
My transformation didn’t happen overnight or in a vacuum void of any other support. I didn’t wake up one day and just do it…
It took time, intention, practice…
AND STILL it takes an awareness and self-examination like you wouldn’t believe.
To reprogram, heal, and become MORE of the woman I was created to be every day.
To daringly, fearlessly lead and call out of every woman the Divine within her.
To show her how this connection and deep embodiment flows into every area of her life and work.
When I hold sacred space for my clients they become like a tree in fall… shedding the old leaves and being pruned, fertilizing the ground that feeds their roots, coming back into themselves, and then growing their branches to reach even farther and let their blossoms radiate more brightly than ever before.
They receive visions of exactly what they truly desire and have the power to manifest.
They see exactly what their next step is and can TAKE THAT STEP with courage, grace, and full-body confidence.
They finally get on camera to share their amazing message and energy. They write that scary AF piece about their journey.
They finally see the book within them waiting to be birthed. The calling they’ve ignored. The alignment they’ve strayed from.
They light their own sensual, sexual fire and finally can channel this sacred energy of allure and magnetism into their life and relationships.
They release eons of religious shame, guilt, and pent up RAGE against the patriarchy that has silenced their voice and truth.
Their past lives unfold and resolve before their eyes and energetic paradigms are brought to the surface for total restructuring.
Their marriages turn into open, satisfying, playful dances that support them emotionally, sexually, and spiritually.
Their businesses fill with ease, feminine power, and abundance…while they draw in the clientele they were craving who are ready to invest and do the work.
Their children turn into angels who never drive them effing crazy - ok just kidding but they DO learn how to be present, patient, and cultivate a true groundedness so they can ENJOY their kids and DEAL with their own emotional triggers in motherhood.
This is the power of a woman. This is the power of the Divine within you.
This is the power of working with a priestess who knows her shit and will take your hand and walk the path with you.
Is it time to turn on your light, let go of the illusions, and finally SHINE in all of your glory?
What would that mean to you, your family, and your business? How would that change the WORLD?
>>>> P.S. YES, I get it girlfriend and I have BEEN where you are - it’s time to shift so let’s hop on a (totally free) call and map out exactly where your inner programming and energy is not supporting you in ascending in your life and biz right now…and what you need to do about that. You can click here to book in right now: chatwithsteena.com