Being a slave to winning in order to receive love creates an inner torture chamber.

Being obsessed with winning every art competition, every cheerleading tryout, every academic award becomes a fixation with winning at everything in life.

An inner pressure builds that reinforces the need to win at doing the dishes, having perfect children, keeping a perfect home, having a perfectly healthy diet, and everything in between.

If something is out of order, the fear of failure is triggered...

Burnout has become a sort of 21st-century epidemic for women.

The force and hustle lifestyle is second nature. Creating another way for ourselves to exist in the world when the culture around us screams "PERFORM BETTER. JUST COMPETE. MORE! MORE! MORE!" is quite the challenge.

Burnout doesn't come from our desire for achievement. It doesn't come from working too many hours. It doesn't come from not having the "right" work-life balance...

Sex belongs in marriage.

With one person.

Forever.

Surprisingly, I learned this hard and fast rule in a home that wasn't particularly religious. Not surprisingly, I learned it in a home that fits in with Midwestern US culture quite well. Christian (if you should ask), middle class, dad works, mom runs the family and house.

To me...

All he wants is sex, right?

"I'm afraid to so much as brush his arm in the kitchen... I'm afraid he'll get an instant a hard on and think I wanted to jump his bones."

And, my dear, why don't you want to? Why don't you want to have sex?

Let's not pretend that this is your fear only ever so often... we both know...

When I wake up in the morning, I'm almost always the first one up. The house is full of golden silence and I can make my face up, brew my coffee, and cook my breakfast in peace. I love it.

Except when I have hated it, because my kids have gotten up early and "ruined" my morning.

There's a tension that rises in my body when I've become frustrated by their presence. Why are you UP right now? Go back to bed! is my silent pleading...

A good fuck today would be a mighty nice thing and why the hell would you want to wait around for a man to give that to you?

I know, your partner loves you. I know he loves having sex with you. I know he'd probably fuck you right now if you so much as said, "boo!"

The thing is, intercourse isn't...

How I went from a very good girl, to learning how to fully embracing my deviant, "bad boy" energy.